Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
