so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
