East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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