Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is it because I queefed?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
