i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
