Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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