so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
