My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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