why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish I only lived at night.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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