My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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