She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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