I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize