I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
