He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize