i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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