after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize