it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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