Even the bartender felt bad for me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Found the puke drawer
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
