That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
God, I missed his penis.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
