Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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