no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
