My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
