NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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