THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
