we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
