Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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