I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
