The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize