is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
