yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
