just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
