Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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