I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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