Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
