Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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