Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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