yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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