So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
