"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The adults are the big ones right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
