I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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