Non-Jews are for practice
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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