We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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