Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
