distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
