Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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