I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
