we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
