Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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