it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize