maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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