It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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