Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can you bring me the toilet please
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize