i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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