Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize