That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I could fuck to npr.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
