dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
