So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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