I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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