i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You don't make any sense
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