so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
