The best revenge is premature balding
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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