I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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